Breaking News: Alicia Keys + Swizz Beats

23 Jul

The tabloids are buzzing with news of this pair’s eminent marriage.  Our (relatively unreliable)  sources are telling us that Alicia has decided to accept Swizz’s last name name, which would make her full name Alicia Augello Cook Beatz.  I envy any future kids in the Beatz family, because they are destined to be “gangstas” from Day 1 with a name like that. 

In other news, Mr. Beatz needs to stop looking like a damn tourist.  Put away that camera — your street cred is falling faster than the Dow Jones Industrial Average. 

Mr. and Mrs. Beatz on the move



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