Teen Heartthrob Justin Bieber Enjoys Myriad Bitches (Approximately 4,500)

27 Jul

Nearly every teenage girl in the Milky Way has at some point or another thought that Justin Bieber is “totally hot”, even if they won’t bring their sad little souls to admit it.  Most of these girls assume that if they go to one of his concerts and stand in the front row with legions of his other adolescent female fans, Mr. Bieber will sweep them off of their Ugg-clad feet and treat them like princesses, ultimately immersing them in their own fantasy of “true love”.  The most interesting side to this world wide phenomenon is that these girls have not yet picked up on the fact that Mr. Bieber is a “player”.

Under that perfectly feathered hair is a teen who has mastered the art of inducing female pleasure.  Justin Bieber has been with over 4,500 different females over the course of his relatively short and recent life of fame and stardom.  Most of these girls have been picked up in the Pop Music sections of mega-retailers such as Best Buy and Walmart by Mr. Bieber’s own Bitch-Recruiting Staff.  What seems to be the most fascinating aspect of this operation is that none of the girls seem to mind, as if it is J-Biebz’s god given right to “bag as many bitches” as he can.  He often serenades and seduces his mistresses by singing to them in a pitch that is far beyond the frequencies that most adults can hear, thus making him even more of a dreamy little shithead.

Oh yeah — and I guess we’ll do our best not to mention that time he walked into a glass door.  On second thought…

Are you a Bieber-Bitch? Or maybe a hater? Let us know in the comments.

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3 Responses to “Teen Heartthrob Justin Bieber Enjoys Myriad Bitches (Approximately 4,500)”

  1. T-Money July 27, 2010 at 10:06 am #

    J-Biebz is just having an ordinary day, like the rest of us. So he bumped into a glass door? No problem! He’s still angelic =)

  2. Big Boi Fr3$h July 28, 2010 at 6:14 pm #

    Justin Bieber can explore any nook and cranny of my body whenever he pleases to do so. Regardless, he is a little fucking fuck.

  3. NickJs1stLady August 1, 2010 at 1:54 am #

    I think Justin is very cute but I dont think I’d ever date him cuz he is a major player.Its ridiculous.He thinks that just cuz hes famous and has money he can be with whoever he wants like he rules the world or something.Dont think Im a hater cuz Im not,Im just tellin the truth.

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