Lil Wayne Gains 150 Pounds; Sued for False Advertising

29 Jul

We’ve all heard about the Freshman 15 at college: kids leave mom’s home cooking, tip back more than a couple brews every weekend, crush some late night pizza every few nights.  It’s not hard to come home for Christmas a little tight in the pants.

Much less talked about is the Inmate 150.  Forced to give up a life of crime, convicts live a sedentary lifestyle, fueled on a low-nutrition diet of carbohydrate and calorie heavy prison slop.

For Dwayne Michael Carter Jr., A.K.A. Lil Wayne, the weekly prison softball game hasn’t been enough to fight off body fat buildup.  Back on April 2nd Weezy wrote in his letter Gone ’til November (featured on the site “I’ve been working out a lot because it helps pass the time,” but our sources tell us that Carter has gained so much weight he has been upgraded to a larger, suite-style cell.  The hip-hop superstar was expected to serve 8 months on Riker’s Island based on good behavior, but in March he was found in possesion of contraband that included an MP3 player, charger and headphones.  Last week, a correctional officer discovered additional smuggled goods: two dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, a package of Double Stuffed Oreos, and a party-sized bag of Scorchin’ Habanero Doritos.

The issue that Wayne is currently confronted with is not purely health-related but also prefix-related; he is under investigation form the Better Business Bureau, whose stated goal is to “foster a fair and effective marketplace.”  The issue at hand is the title “Lil” – the BBB recently alerted the public that this term no longer applies to Dwayne Carter and has declared this business practice as “fraudulent.”  Wayne’s Young Money label did not offer much information in terms of the extent of his personal issues, although they did admit that Carter has been in development with Jenny Craig, Inc., a weight management and nutrition company, on some sort of syrup-related liquid diet.

Bad health habits were not broken in prison.


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