Rapper Mystikal Claims He Created the Internet

5 Aug

Rappers these days are always looking to grow their brand beyond album sales and tours. Some have clothing lines and others try out (typically short-lived) acting careers.  Few rappers, however, have ever declared themselves to be the reason for the existence of the internet superhighway — that is, until now.

Michael Lawrence Taylor, better known by his stage name Mystikal (we always wondered if he spelled that incorrectly on purpose or by mystake) and his legal team just released the following statement this morning: “I don’t give a shit what Bill Gates or no wack-ass Mark Zuckerberg says about nothing, errbody knows I invented the internet, and I want some damn credit for all of this shit.”

He has filed lawsuits with some of the world’s largest internet companies claiming that without him paving the way for the creation of the internet, they would not exist. He’s asking that everybody who’s made even a cent through the internet pay him his rightful share.  Mystikal, who’s most well known for his hit single “Shake Ya Ass,” in which he exclaims, “Came here with my [CENSORED FOR THE LITTLE KIDDIES] in my hand, Don’t make me leave here with my foot in yo ass” says that if he doesn’t get his fair pay, he plans to execute the aforementioned plans.

His evidence? Well, Mystikal explains that in the song “Ain’t No Limit,” when he remarked, “I writes em line for line, Take my time till the shit is all tight,” he was referring to the late nights spend coding in HTML, Javascript, and his own computer-language named Booty-System which resulted in the creation of the internet.  He’s also laid out plans to launch his own websites to compete with the likes of Facebook and Google.  AssBook, which will only allow users to post profiles pictures of their behinds, is scheduled to launch early next year.


One Response to “Rapper Mystikal Claims He Created the Internet”


  1. Lyric of the Week: “Shake Ya Ass” « - April 12, 2011

    […] this line before? Probably not, since it’s nearly impossible to decipher what the hell Mystikal is saying. I mean the guy is up there with Sean Paul in terms of most inarticulate rappers of all […]

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