Soulja Boy Doesn’t Understand How To Count

6 Dec

I remember the first time that I put the smaller number in front of the larger when referring to money.  Must have been second or third grade when I learned that saying “I’ve got so many stacks, I’m worth about Three Thousand Fifty Million” does not make mathematical sense.  Unfortunately, our good friend Soulja Boy Tell Em’ was absent from class that day.  His song 30 Thousand 100 Million, which is actually one of the worst rap songs I’ve ever heard, demonstrates this very unfortunate fact.

Soulja Boy is reportedly worth about 15 million greenbacks.  So, even if one were to multiply 30 thousand by 100 million (if that’s what he’s trying to say), that would be a gross exaggeration of his wealth.

The first few lines repeat the phrase “Word around town,” followed by some ridiculous statement.  He claims to have spent “three million dollars on his wrist” as well as “twelve million dollars on his crib.” If we are to take these claims seriously, he would then have a balance of $0.00 in his bank account after these absurd purchases.  Maybe that’s why the music video looks like it was shot in the basement of an abandoned warehouse.

Things take a turn for the worst when he kindly explains,

“Word around town, bitch my dick tastes like ribs”

That’s when I stopped listening.

“Do you like ribs?”




4 Responses to “Soulja Boy Doesn’t Understand How To Count”

  1. NVR December 6, 2010 at 6:35 pm #

    That beat (and song) is so wack, it needs it’s own wackness catagory. 30 THOUSAND 100 MILLION!!


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  2. Letters to Santa: Soulja Boy « - December 25, 2010

    […] boy this year. I enlisted in the army as a Soulja to serve our country, I learned how to count (30 Thousand Hundred Million!), and I turned everyone’s swag on.  It’s been a big year.  Santa, I hope that […]

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