Birdman Reportedly Undergoing Surgery to Remove Wings

9 May

“We got them birds in the coffee cans.”

              -Birdman, Imma DBoy by Lil Wayne

This morning, WTR received word from sources inside Birdman’s entourage that he is preparing to undergo surgery to remove the wings from his body.  Bryan Williams, better known by his stagename Birdman or Baby, has been suffering from back pain for many years.  Those close to Birdman say that he grew wings during the tail end of puberty around the age of 13 — hence his name of choice: Birdman.  After years of struggling with his bodily changes and constant desire for fish, the rapper has found that the wings are getting in the way.  Several times a day, his wings extend and begin to flap, causing him to float above the ground until he is able to get the wings under control.  

Last week, doctors gave Birdman a clear choice: Eliminate your wings, or be prepared for a complete bodily transformation from human to bird in the next few years.

Birdman has a rare gene that has tricked certain parts of his body into thinking that he is in fact a bird, and not a human being.  Doctors pointed out that it would be difficult to continue a career as a rap artist and successful businessman once his bird body had taken over.  

If the surgery is unsuccessful, Birdman and his executive team are planning to produce a new reality TV series, entitled “Birdman Montana,” in which Birdman will play a middle-aged rapper who also lives a double life as a bird.

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